BROOSTER THE ROOSTER
A farmer went to the market to buy a new rooster so that his hens would produce more eggs. He came upon a booth with a rooster in a cage and asked the other farmer if he was for sale. The other farmer said “Mister you do not want this rooster, his name is Brooster and not only will he fuck your hens but he will fuck everything else on your farm. He is the horniest rooster ever. The man asked if he would increase the amount of eggs his hens produced. The seller said yes but what about my warning to you. That’s ok the farmer said as long as I get more eggs. So the farmer bought Brooster and took him home and let him loose on the farm. The next morning the farmer woke up and went out in the yard and could not believe what he saw. His chickens were laying half dead with feathers missing and his horses lay half dead in the field with the hair scraped off their asses and his pigs and goats and cows were all in the same shape and there was Brooster strutting around the yard. The hens were laying lots of eggs and the farmer just shook his head in disbelief. After a couple more days of the same thing every morning the farmer went up to Brooster and said “Look here you stupid rooster, if you keep this up you will be dead within a week”. A few more days go by and Brooster has not slowed down a bit. Then one morning the farmer woke up and looked outside. In the sky was a vulture making slow circles over the yard and in the yard was Brooster the rooster laying tits up. The farmer walked over to Brooster and said” I told you you stupid rooster that if you kept this up you would kill yourself” Brooster the rooster looks up at the farmer and says “shhhhhhh its going to land”
bar horse
this guy walks in to a bar. and theres a horse sitting at the bar with a pile of money in front of him. the guy asked the bartender whats up with the horse and the money. the bartender told the guy anyone who can make the horse laugh gets all the money. so the guy walkes over to the horse and wispers something in to its ear. and the horse starts laughing. so the guy takes the money and leaves. the next day the guy go in the same bar and the same horse is sitting at the bar with another pile of money in frount of him. the guy asked the bartender if he had to make the horse laugh to get all the money ? the bartender said no today you have to make him cry. so the guy walked over to the horse and asked him to follow him to the bathroom. a few seconds later the horse comes out of the bathroom crying his eyes out. so the guy go to take the pile of money and the bartender says hold it please tell me what you said to the horse yesterday and today to get all the money ? the guy says ok. yestarday i told him my dick was bigger then his. today i showed him!
snails
what did the snail say as it slid down the window really fast?
how slime flies