My friend married a doctor.
At a certain point he told her: “You need to do something to spice up our love-making”.
Shortly thereafter, he came home and found her in bed with another man who is also an M.D.
“Why?” asked her hubby.
“You said I needed to do something to spice up our love-making;
I just wanted to get a Second Opinion”, she told him.
I would like to havea second opinion-A patient has a sore throat and goes to a doctor to get treatment for it.
Doctor: Your tonsils gotta come...
Leave Matt alone dam it-why do u people all have to hate Matt. He has his own opinion and u people go and talk...
A worldwide survey has been carried out with…- worldwide survey has been carried out with the following question:"PLEASE, GIVE US YOUR OPINION ON THE LACK OF FOOD...
We Don’t Argue- Jim and I have been married for two years now and we have not yet had our first husband-wife...
What do you think of Matt Villani?-This should be interesting. Each person write briefly (no more than 1000 characters each) what your opinion is off Matt....
American civilization-It is said that Mohandas Ghandi was asked, "What is your opinion of American civilization?"
His reply: "I think it...
Business one-liners 70-If you cannot fix it, feature it.
If you cannot get your work done in a 24-hour day, then work nights!
If...
MARRIAGE (PART III)-A husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table. The husband gets up in...
Bumper stickers 08-Ambivalent? Well yes and no....
Does your train of thought have a caboose?
Is it time for your medication or...
Business one-liners 64-If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.
If enough...
A man was speaking to God.
“God, why did you make women so beautiful?” he asked.
God said: “I did that to make you love them”.
Then the man asked: “Well, God; why did you make them such good cooks?”
God said: “I did that to make you love them”.
The man then asked: “But God, why did you make women so stupid?”.
God said: “I did that to make them love you ! “
here ’i’ and there also ’i’-a(picks up the phone):hello,who’s speaking?
b:oh!u didnt recognize me?oye ’i’ m speaking!
a:what a coincidence!!here also ’i’ m speaking!
asiya...
Answering machine message 153-Hi there. This is Joe speaking. I'm home right now, and in a moment, I'll have a decision to make....
You’re stressed when-You Know You're Too Stressed If...
You can achieve a "Runner's High" by sitting up.
The Sun is too loud.
Trees...
Answering machine message 20-Lindsey's not home now. This is his domestic droid speaking. I'm not programmed to answer the phone, so just leave...
Top Things You Don’t Want to Overhear Over an Airline P.A. System-1. Ocean crossing flight: This is your Captain speaking, I just wanted to take this time to remind you that...
the moon or durban-i was walking down the street the other day when i came accross a couple speaking.
the man asked the...
Try to spell that name-A traffic Policeman recently stopped a woman for exceeding the posted speed limit. He asked the driver her name.
She said,...
Try to spell that name-A traffic Policeman recently stopped a woman for exceeding the posted speed limit. He asked the driver her name.She said,...
Speaking of spelling, here is a news bulletin…-Speaking of spelling, here's a news bulletin ........ The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be...
Marry Me- He really loved her but he was just too shy to propose to her. Now he was up in...
The celebrant noticed that the bride was in great distress so asked her what was wrong. She replied that she was nervous and afraid she would not remember what to do. The celebrant told her that she only needed to remember 3 things.
First the aisle, because that is what you’ll be walking down.
Secondly, the alter because that is where you will arrive.
Finally, remember hymn because that is a type of song we will sing during the service.
While the bride was walking to the wedding march, family and friends of the groom were horrified to hear her repeating these 3 words. . . Aisle, alter hymn (I’ll alter him!)
yes dear-when a man gets married, at the alter, he should just YES DEAR instead of I DO because HE WILL...
Church announcement bloopers!- 15 actual announcements taken from church bulletins:
1. Don't let worry kill you- let the church help.
2. Thursday night- potluck...
Real advertisements 06-Believe it or not, the following announcements actually appeared in various church bulletins.
Don't let worry kill you -- let...
The development of a new programming language-I've heard there's a new programming language out from University of Tennessee. It's called Algor.
There are some problems with it...
Alter Your Course!- This is an actual radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval
Operations, 10-10-95, MSG#H0000115020ecb52EMHS
#1: "Please divert your course...
A New Priest- A new priest is being given instructions on what to do when he takes confession. The older priest tells...
Charlie Brown in the 90’s- Do you remember the Charlie Brown specials that taught valuable life lessons to a generation of kids? Well here...
Martha’s Redneck Tips-1. Never take a beer to a job interview.
2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them....
Martha Stewart’s Rules for Rednecks-GENERAL
1. Never take a beer to a job interview.
2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them.
3. It's...
Wedding preparation guidelines-Announcement:
It is the responsibility of the bride's family to announce the wedding in the local newspaper. The announcement should include:...
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