One of the world’s greatest scientists was also recognized as the original absent-minded professor. One day, on board a train, he was unable to find his ticket. The conductor said, “Take it easy. You’ll find it.”
When the conductor returned, the professor still couldn’t find the ticket. The conductor, recognizing the famous scientist, said, “I’m sure you bought a ticket. Forget about it.”
“You’re very kind,” the professor said, “but I must find it, otherwise I won’t know where to get off.”
Absent Minded Husband- Anniversaries and birthdays
Complicate my life.
I'm an absent-minded husband
Of a present-minded wife.
...
The Absent Minded Doctor- A doctor walks into a bank. Preparing to endorse a check, he pulls a rectal thermometer out of his...
Chemistry song 07-Quantum Chemistry
On the first day of Christmas, my professor gave to me: An exam in Quantum Chemistry.
On the second day...
The Exam-Joey was taking Calculus at UCLA. He struggled with it, and worried about failing. Final exam time came, and he...
Twoprofessorsvacationing-Two retired professors were vacationing with their wives at a hotel in the Catskills. They were sitting on the veranda...
Relievingin Class-1. Leave permanent markers by the dry-erase board.
2. Ask whether the first chapter will be on the test. If the...
Can You Suffer?-A certain college professor was notorious for getting off the topic of the lecture, and on to his favorite subject:...
Why must we learn this?-One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A pre-med student rudely interrupted to ask, "Why do we...
A bribe for your professor-A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and...
Professor- This just in:
A well known college professor has been arrested and accused of putting marijuana in the food that...
A young man who wants to see the world signs on to a tramp steamer to be trained as a helmsman.
He masters the classroom instruction, then starts his practical training on the wheel of the vessel. In his first lesson, the
mate gives him a heading, and the young fellow holds to it.
Then the mate orders, “Come starboard.”
Pleased at knowing immediately which way starboard is, the young man leaves the helm and walks over to his instructor.
The mate has an incredulous look on his face as the helm swings freely. Then, rather gently considering the circum- stance, he asks politely, “Could you bring the ship with you?”
Don’t be on this flight-"This is Captain Sinclair speaking. On behalf of my crew I'd like to welcome you aboard British Airways flight 602...
Don’t be on this flight-This is Captain Sinclair speaking. On behalf of my crew I'd like to welcome you aboard British Airways flight 602...
A young naval student-A young naval student was being put through the paces by an old sea captain.
"What would you do if...
All Kick A$$ this time-You are a true stoner if.............................................................................................
1~If you like these jokes as they are funny as hell.
2~If you have...
I understand the fix a local hunting guide got himself into.
His party became hopelessly lost in the mountains and they blamed him for leading them astray. “You told us you were the best guide in Colorado!” they asserted.
“I am,” he said, “but I think we’re in Wyoming now.”
Touring South America-A tourist is traveling with a guide through one of the thickest jungles in South America, when he comes across...
FREE DRINKS FOR THE BLIND-A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink....
Tour near glaciers-The following is supposedly a true story relating to an actual guide and his response to questions.
Swiss mountain guides who...
Tour near glaciers-The following is supposedly a true story relating to an actual guide and his response to questions.
Swiss mountain guides who...
A Hunting Party-A hunting party is hopelessly lost. “I thought you said you were the best guide in Maine!†one of the...
The World Shortest Books--"My Plan To Find The Real Killers" by O.J. Simpson
- The Difference between Reality and Dilbert
- Human Rights...
The World’s Shortest Books- The World's Shortest Books
25. "My Plan To Find The Real Killers" by O.J. Simpson
24. "To All The Men I've...
Worlds “shortest” books!- 25. MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS - by O.J. Simpson
24. THE ENGINEER'S GUIDE TO FASHION
23. TO ALL...
The World’s Shortest Books- 25. MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS-by O J Simpson
24. THE ENGINEER'S GUIDE TO FASHION
23. TO ALL THE...
Very Short Books- Very Short Books...
1) Outdoor activities in Chernobyl
2) Hot Scenic Real-estate opportunities on top of Mt St. Helens
3) Investment opportunities...
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