A woman was driving her old beat up car on the Highway with her 7 year old son. She tried to keep up with traffic but they were flying by her. After getting caught in a large group of cars flying down the road, she looked at her speedometer to see she was doing 15 miles over the speed limit. Slowing down, she moved over to the side and got out of the clump that soon left her behind. She looked up and saw the flashing lights of a police car. Pulling over she waited for the officer to come up to her car. As he did he said, “Ma’am do you know why I pulled you over?” Her son piped up from the back seat, “I do… because you couldn’t catch the other cars!”
Oh the Internet is slow-The Net is Slow
Oh, the network outside is frightful,
But on campus, it's so delightful,
Our packets have nowhere to go,
Net is...
Oh the Internet is slow-The Net is Slow
Oh, the network outside is frightful,
But on campus, it's so delightful,
Our packets have nowhere to go,
Net is...
You so slow-I had a friend one time that was so slow, it took him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes! Now...
Ponderings collection 05-When they ship styrofoam, what do they pack it in?
If 75% of all accidents happen within 5 miles of...
Debate the stop sign-A cop stops a man for running a stop sign and the subject gives the cop a lot of grief...
The last laugh!- Several years ago, after having Japanese executives from the automotive industry tour a Ford Plant, they held a press...
Goodbye To Bin Laden- Written by a Viet Nam Vet
GOD BLESS AMERICA!
"In Memory of The Twin Towers"
Warning song to Osama bin Laden
(the tune...
lololololol-1 out of every 3 americans are overweight mr. bush. how will u slow this down?
Shoot em...
another Kobe joke-Why did Kobe buy his wife a big fucking diamond ring?
To slow down her punches!...
Drankin Tequila-A guy is sitting at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He’s slamming tequila left and...
A funeral service is being held in a synagogue for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service the pallbearers are carrying the casket out, when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket.
They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive.
She lives for ten more years and then dies. A ceremony is again held at the same synagogue and at the end of the ceremony the pallbearers are again carrying the casket.
As they are walking out, the husband cries, “Watch out for the wall!”
Ten Years Bad Luck-A funeral service is being held in a synagogue for a woman who has just passed away. At the end...
Interesting bait-David, the fisherman, had driven by the lake many times and had seen some other anglers about, so he decided...
Business one-liners 25-Everybody should believe in something, I believe I'll have another beer.
Everybody's gotta be someplace.
Everyone breaks more than the seven-year-bad-luck allotment...
RED SOX RULE!!-Twas the night to beat the Yankees
And all through the nation
Not a single sole was thinking
Of 85...
Neil Armstrong True Story- When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon, he not only said his famous "One Small...
Why Divorce Now?- After 40 years of marriage, Jimmy decides to leave Katherine.
She starts crying and then asks, "How can you do...
50 Years-Well there was this couple who had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table that...
Help Me Find My Ball-Two lawyers, Jon and Amanpreet, head out for their usual 9 holes of golf. Jon offers Amanpreet a $50 bet....
Oh, Those Darn Lawyers-Two lawyers, Jon and Amanpreet, head out for their usual 9 holes of golf. Jon offers Amanpreet a $50 bet....
Oh, Those Darn Lawyers-Two lawyers, Jon and Amanpreet, head out for their usual 9 holes of golf. Jon offers Amanpreet a $50 bet....
1. One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: Chicago.
2. One hand on wheel, one finger out window: New York.
3. One hand on wheel, one finger out window, cutting across all lanes of traffic: New Jersey.
4. One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator: Boston.
5. One hand on wheel, one hand on nonfat double decaf cappuccino, cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator, with gun in lap: Los Angeles.
6. Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror: Ohio, but driving in California.
7. Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in back seat: Italy.
8. One hand on latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot on brake, mind on radio game: Seattle.
9. One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between both feet being on the accelerator and both feet on brake, throwing McDonald’s bag out the window: Texas.
10. Four-wheel drive pick-up truck, shotgun mounted in rear window, beer cans on floor, squirrel tails attached to antenna: West Virginia.
11. Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible above windshield, driving 35 on the Interstate in the left lane with the left blinker on: Florida.
Nice Car!- A guy driving a Yugo pulls up at a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce. The driver of the Yugo...
Outrageous lying-A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:
Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver:...
Taxi driver in Heaven-A priest and a taxi driver both died and went to heaven. St. Peter was at the Pearly gates waiting...
Evasion Tactics-A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:
Officer: May I see your driver's...
How to get out of anext speeding ticket!- A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:
Officer: May I see your driver's...
7 Piguins-One day a police officer sees an car going down the highway carrying 7 pigiuns.So the cop stops the driver...
trucking-There is a truck driver and he has a poelock side kick. They were driving up the road and the...
Rolls-Royce vs. Yugo-A guy driving a Yugo pulled up to a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce.
He rolled down his window and...
Blonde hitchhiker-An attractive Polish blonde [sort of an oxymoron] was hitch hiking. A trucker pulled over and offered her a ride....
Blonde hitchhiker-An attractive Polish blonde [sort of an oxymoron] was hitch hiking. A trucker pulled over and offered her a ride....
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