How many contract lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? WHEREAS, the party of the first part, also known as “Lawyer”, and the party of the second part, also known as “Light Bulb”, do hereby and forthwith agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part (Light Bulb) shall be removed from the current position as a result of failure to perform previously agreed upon duties, i.e., the lighting, elucidation, and otherwise illumination of the area ranging from the front (North) door, through the entryway, terminating at an area just inside the primary living area, demarcated by the beginning of the carpet, any spillover illumination being at the option of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) and not required by the aforementioned agreement between the parties. The aforementioned removal transaction shall include, but not be limited to, the following steps: Section 1. The party of the first part (Lawyer) shall, with or without elevation at his option, by means of a chair, stepstool, ladder or any other means of elevation, grasp the party of the second part (Light Bulb) and rotate the party of the second part (Light Bulb) in a counter clockwise direction, this point being non-negotiable. Section 2. Upon reaching a point where the party of the second part (Light Bulb) becomes separated from the party of the third part (”Receptacle”), the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall have the option of disposing of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) in a manner consistent with all applicable federal, state and local statutes. Section 3. Once separation and disposal have been achieved, the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall have the option of beginning installation of the party of the fourth part (”New Light Bulb”). This installation shall occur in a manner consistent with the reverse of the procedures described in step Section 1 of this self-same document, being careful to note that the rotation should occur in a clockwise direction, this point also being non-negotiable. Note: The above described steps may be performed, at the option of the party of the first part (Lawyer), by any or all persons authorized by him, the objective being to produce the most possible revenue for the party of the fifth part, also known as the “Partnership.”
Lightbulb joke collection 33-Q: What do a Soviet emigre and a fifteen-watt light bulb have in common?
A: Neither one is very bright.
Q: How...
Ticket Please- Three lawyers and three engineers were traveling by train to the same meeting. At the station, the lawyers each...
Question and answer jokes-Q: How many lawyers does it take to stop a moving bus?
A: Never enough.
Q: How many lawyers does it take...
Replacing lab rats with lawyers-The National Institute of Health (NIH) announced last week that they were going to start using lawyers instead of rats...
Lawyer One Liners 2-Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: It...
1,000 lawyers…- What do you call 1,000 lawyers at the bottom of the sea?
A good start!
...
Lawyers get robbed-Two lawyers are in a bank, when, suddenly, armed robbers burst in.
While several of the robbers take the money from...
History of lawyers-Why God Created Lawyers
Satan was complaining bitterly to God, "You made the world so that it was not fair, and...
Lawyer quickies 3-Q: How do you kill 4000 lawyers?
A: You build a new Titanic and declare it cannot sink.
Q: What's the...
747 Full Of Lawyers-Q: Hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of lawyers?
A: He threatened to release one every hour...
There was this young boy. As he was leaving to go to church, his mother gave him a dollar for the collection plate. On the way, he passed a hamburger stand, and bought a hamburger with the offering money. He ate half, and decided to save the other half for after church. He put the other half in his pocket.During church, the preacher was preaching, “The Lord is everywhere…He’s in the heavens, He’s in the air, He’s on the earth, He’s in your house…The Lord is everywhere!”The boy jumps up, says, “Preacher, can I ask a question?” “Sure”,says the preacher. “Do you mean the Lord is everywhere?” “Yep, He’s everywhere”.The boy reaches down, opens his pocket and says,”Lord, if You’re in there, please don’t eat my hamburger!”
The Bill Clinton Joke- Q: What's the difference between a McDonalds Hamburger and Bill Clinton?
A: Some people in Arkansas haven't had a McDonald's...
LAUGH! OK?-Q.what do u call an italian eating hamburger?
A.WOPPER!...
Blonde’s Cooking Diary :--Monday:
It's fun to cook for Bob. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately.
The...
You might be a redneck if 64-You might be a reneck if...
You pull up to a gas station in a limo to buy a can of...
Sharing everything-A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald's. He noticed that they had ordered one...
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Skiing season training-Ski season is almost here! Hence, the following list of Exercises to get you prepared:
16. Visit your local butcher...
Skiing season training-Ski season is almost here! Hence, the following list of Exercises to get you prepared:
16. Visit your local butcher...
Unique job interviews-Job Interview Quotations
Vice Presidents and personnel directors of the one hundred largest corporations were asked to describe their most...
Guide to buy a man gifts!- Rules for Buying Gifts for Men
Rule #1:
When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter...
Q: Why do blondes have orgasms?A: So they know when to stop having sex!
Blondes + Beer-Joke 1) Why were blondes created? because sheep can’t bring beer from the refridgerator
2) What do blondes and beer...
Five blondes and a brunnette-Five blondes and a brunnette are clinging on to a plane but it is crashing
because there is to much...
two blondes…-there were two blondes who went out shopping for a car, they came to a dealership and went up to...
dumbo-Blondes are so dumb they take rulers to bed with them to c how long they sleep.......................blondes r so dumb...
51 days!-3 blondes walk into a bar one day and they are all chanting 51 days 51 days 51 days. They...
Blondes to the moon-At a press conference the Brunettes announce they are going to make a trip to the Moon. The Redheads speak...
blond and cliffs-there was 15 blondes and a brunette hanging on a cliff the brunette on the top sed 1 of us...
10 blonde jks-1. y do blondes drive bmw’s?
they cant spelll porsche
2. how do u know when blondes have been using...
3 Blonds-3 Blondes go to a cafe and start masturbating.
The waiter says "What are you doing?"
One of the blondes...
Who Let The Blondes Out?-How many blondes does it take to milk a cow?
Five - one to hold the udder, and four to...
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