Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day. “My name is Billy. What’s yours?” asked the first boy. “Tommy,” replied the second. “My Daddy’s an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living?” asked Billy. Tommy replied, “My Daddy’s a lawyer.” “Honest?” asked Billy. “No, just the regular kind”, replied Tommy.
Need a new lawyer-Warning Signs that you Might Need a Different Lawyer
Your lawyer tells you that his last good case was of...
Need a new lawyer-Warning Signs that you Might Need a Different Lawyer
Your lawyer tells you that his last good case was of...
Question and answer jokes-Q: What do you get if you put 100 lawyers in your basement?
A: A whine cellar.
Q: What do you call...
PURPLE FLOWERS JOKE!!!-Okay so theres this kid,right? and for school he had to write a report on something so he wrote his...
Yankees like ur dad-one day the yankees when to lick ur moms pussy but they ended up suckin her dick word on the...
I suppose I earned enough-An elderly and somewhat hard-of-hearing man was sitting in a stylish downtown attorney?s office as his lawyer handed him his...
A lawyer is bombing along-A lawyer is bombing along the moterwat in his brand new Ferarri F50. All of a sudden he loses control...
Short Lawyer Jokes V- Q: What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?
A: When a busload of lawyers goes...
Lawyer One Liners #4-** What do you throw to a drowning lawyer? His partners.
** What happens when you cross a pig with a...
Question and answer jokes-Q: How can you tell if a lawyer is well hung?
A: You can't get a finger between the rope and...
Millennia Year Application Software System This memo is to announce the development of a new firm-wide software system. We are currently building a data center that will contain all firm data that is Year 2000 compliant. The program is referred to as the “Millennia Year Application Software System” (MYASS.. Next Monday at 9:00 there will be a meeting in which I will show MYASS to everyone. We will continue to hold demonstrations throughout the month so that all employees will have an opportunity to get a good look at MYASS. As for the status of the implementation of the program, I have not addressed the networking aspects so currently only one person at a time can use MYASS. This restriction will be removed after MYASS expands. Several people are using the program already and have come to depend on it. Just this morning I walked into a subordinate’s office and was not surprised to find that he had his nose buried in MYASS. I’ve noticed that some of the less technical personnel are somewhat afraid of MYASS. Just last week, when asked to enter some information into the program, I had a secretary say to me “I’m a little nervous, I’ve never put anything in MYASS before.” I volunteered to help her through her first time and when we were through she admitted that it was relatively painless and she was actually looking forward to doing it again. She went so far as to say that after using SAP and Oracle, she was ready to kiss MYASS. I know there are concerns over the virus that was found in MYASS upon initial installation, but I am pleased to say the virus has been eliminated and we were able to save MYASS. In the future, however, protection will be required prior to entering MYASS. We planned this database to encompass all information associated with the business. So as you begin using the program, feel free to put anything you want into MYASS. As MYASS grows larger, we envision a time when it will be commonplace to walk by an office and see a manager hand a paper to an employee and say “Here, stick this in MYASS”. This program has already demonstrated great benefit to the company during recent OSHA and EPA audits. After requesting certain historical data the agency representatives were amazed at how quickly we provided the information. When asked how the numbers could be retrieved so rapidly our Environmental Manager proudly stated “Simple, I just pulled them out of MYASS.”
Millennia Year Application Software System (MYASS)- This memo is to announce the development of a new software system which will be Year 2000 compliant. This...
Millennia Year Application Software System-Millennia Year Application Software System This memo is to announce the development of a new firm-wide software system. We are...
Husband 1.0-Last year a friend of mine upgraded from BoyFriend 1.0 to Husband 1.0 and found that it's a memory hog,...
Super Long Classic!- Dear Tech Support:
I am writing this letter as a last resort. Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to...
Upgrade to Wife 1.0- Dear Tech Support:
I am desperate for some help. I recently upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and found...
Virtual Bonds In Software-Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the new program began making...
Real software engineers-Real software engineers eat quiche.
Real software engineers don't read dumps. They never generate them, and on the rare occasions...
Ethical software group-SEVEN SOFTWARE COMPANIES ADDED TO "WATCH LIST"
New York, NJ, Nov. 11 -- People for the Ethical Treatment of Software (PETS)...
Ethical software group-SEVEN SOFTWARE COMPANIES ADDED TO "WATCH LIST"
New York, NJ, Nov. 11 -- People for the Ethical Treatment of Software (PETS)...
Computer Acronyms- PCMCIA- People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
ISDN- It Still Does Nothing
APPLE- Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
SCSI- System...
There was a blonde driving down the road listening to the radio. The announcer was telling blonde joke after blonde joke until the blonde was so mad that she turned her radio off. A mile down the road, she saw another blonde out in a corn field in a boat rowing. The blonde stopped her car jumped out and yelled, “It’s blondes like you that give us all a bad name. If I could swim I’d come out there and give you what’s coming to you!”
Fingers-A man was working with an electric saw when he accidentally sawed off all ten fingers. He quicky rushed to...
Staples-You know the stoner who went to taco bell and then he fled to the black rose dictionary and lifted...
Scooby-There was a blonde who wanted bigger breast so she had surgery the dr said when you go home say...
the magic snail-There was a teenager that was walking to school and she was about to squoosh a snail and kshe did...
I Dont Need A Title Do I?-You are A true stoner if............
1*If you use big bags of weed as chairs.
2*Smoke weed and you’ll be...
What do you think-Why dont Black people watch Ice Hockey?
The dont like the thought of 10 white guys chasing 1 black thing...
((stoner))-You might be a stoner if.......
1 You have ever asked your teacher you will smoke her out for an...
The cashier- Well, one day, an idiot looking for a job finally came across a cigarette stand that was accepting anyone...
LOOK at ME!!-PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS FOR IT MIGHT HURT SOME PEOPLE!WOW ! look at me im skippen !i gess you...
dont click if you are easly offended-What did the black kid get for christmas?
My bike
What do you call it when 300 white people chase...
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