Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud.
The passenger, Bubba, said “Lookey thar up ahead, Earl, it’s a police roadblock!! We’re gonna get busted fer drinkin’ these here beers!!”
“Don’t worry, Bubba,” Earl said. “We’ll just pull over and finish drinkin’ these beers then peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads, and throw the bottles under the seat.”
“What fer?”, asked Bubba.
“Just let me do the talkin’, OK?,” said Earl.
Well, they finished their beers, threw the empties out of sight & put label on each of their foreheads.
When they reached the roadblock, the sheriff said, “You boys been drinkin’?”
“No, sir,” said Earl while pointing at the labels. “We’re on the patch.”
Catch a drunk driver-Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud.
The passenger, Bubba, said...
Two Rednecks- Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud.
The passenger, Bubba,...
The Hunting Dog-Chester and Earl are going hunting. Chester says to Earl, "I'll send my dog out to see if there are...
The Hunting Dog-Chester and Earl are going hunting. Chester says to Earl, "I'll send my dog out to see if there are...
Baseball in Heaven?-Two buddies Bob and Earl were two of the biggest baseball fans in America.
Their entire adult lives, Bob and Earl...
Baseball in Heaven?-Two buddies Bob and Earl were two of the biggest baseball fans in America.
Their entire adult lives, Bob and Earl...
Baseball in Heaven?-Two buddies Bob and Earl were two of the biggest baseball fans in America.
Their entire adult lives, Bob and Earl...
THE PITCH-There once were two best friends named Bob and Earl. They were two of the biggest baseball fans in America....
Bubba walked into a doctor’s office and the receptionist asked him what he had.-Bubba said, "Shingles."
So she wrote down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat....
I Know Them All-Bubba was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone,...
The following quotes were allegedly taken from actual medical records dictated by physicians.
“By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better.”
“Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.”
“On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared.”
“She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.”
“The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983 Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing.”
“I have suggested that he loosen his pants before standing, and then, when he stands with the help of his wife, they should fall to the floor.”
“The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.”
“Discharge status: Alive but without permission.”
“The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get Dr. Blank to dispose of him.”
“Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.”
“The patient refused an autopsy.”
“The patient has no past history of suicides.”
“The patient expired on the floor uneventfully.”
“Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.”
“The patient’s past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.”
“She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.”
“The patient experienced sudden onset of severe shortness of breath with a picture of acute pulmonary edema at home while having sex which gradually deteriorated in the emergency room.”
“The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.”
Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
“The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.”
“Since she can’t get pregnant with her husband, I thought you would like to work her up.”
“She is numb from her toes down.”
“While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.”
“The skin was moist and dry.”
“Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.”
“Coming from Detroit, this man has no children. Patient was alert and unresponsive.”
“When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.”
“MD during a physical exam, stated, in my ears, “I am unable to arouse this woman”, personally, I really don’t think he should have bragged about it.”
Lightbulb joke collection 45-Q: How many veterinarians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three. One to change the bulb and two...
Holy Doctors- Once I was sick and I had to go to an ear, nose, and throat man to get well....
Doctors-Had to go to the doctors the other day to have a mole removed from my dick.................................................last time i shag...
fella goes to the doctors-fella goes to the doctors and says i got a mole on the end of my penis,Doc says drop your...
fella goes to the doctors-
fella goes to the doctors and says i got a mole on the end of my penis,Doc says drop your...
Get a heart transplant-A new arrival, about to enter hospital, saw two white coated doctors searching through the flower beds.
"Excuse me," he said,...
Get a heart transplant-A new arrival, about to enter hospital, saw two white coated doctors searching through the flower beds.
"Excuse me," he said,...
Santa Singh-A GOOD ONE... enjoy.
There was this case in the hospital's Intensive Care ward where patients always died in the...
The sweet kiss!- There was a couple involved in a very bad car accident. The wife's face was badly burned. The doctors...
baseball fans-Three baseball fans were on their way to a game when one noticed a foot sticking out of the bushes...
A dog goes into a post office to send a telegram. The clerk gives him the relevant form and he goes to the desk to fill it in.
When he has finished he hands it back to the clerk with the fee and the clerk reads it through.
The message reads ” Woof woof, woof woof woof; woof woof, woof woof woof.”
The clerk then tells the dog that, at no extra cost, he could have another ‘woof’ in the message.
The dog replies, “Yes, I know, but then it wouldn’t make any sense!”
Sending Telegrams-* A daughter sends a telegram to her father on her clearing B.Ed exams, which the father receives as "Father,...
Buying a New Farm-A blonde and a brunette decide to start a farm together. They add up their life savings into a total...
Blonde Ranch-There was a brunette and her sister, a blonde, and they both owned a cattle ranch out in Texas. Unfortunately,...
Police chief hates you-Ten Signs The Police Chief Hates You
10. He sends you on drug raids....alone.
9. He refers to you as "Our Little...
The Telegram-Two sisters, one a brunette and the other a blonde, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a couple of...
Giving sad news to a troop-The Captain called the Sergeant in. "Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private Jones' mother died yesterday. Better go...
Giving sad news to a troop-The Captain called the Sergeant in. "Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private Jones' mother died yesterday. Better go...
Don’t take any chances-A person receives a telegram informing him about his mother-in-law's death. It also enquires whether she should be buried or...
Photo From Nudist- A man moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter from his mother asking him to send her...
resturant-An Italian man enters his favorite ritzy restaurant and while sitting at his regular table , he noticed a gorgeous...