An American manufacturer is showing his machine factory to a potential customer from Albania. At noon, when the lunch whistle blows, two thousand men and women immediately stop work and leave the building.
“Your workers, they’re escaping!” cries the visitor. “You’ve got to stop them.”
“Don’t worry, they’ll be back,” says the American. And indeed, at exactly one o’clock the whistle blows again, and all the workers return from their break.
When the tour is over, the manufacturer turns to his guest and says, “Well, now, which of these machines would you like to order?”
“Forget the machines,” says the visitor. “How much do you want for that whistle?”
banna factory-y cant a blonde work at a banna factory..............................
because she keeps on throwing out the bent 1 s...
Future factory-The factory of the future will have two employees, a man and a dog.
The man will be there to feed...
The good old days-In the days before the walls came down in Poland it usually took time to get luxury items such as...
Answering machine message 06-You have reached 934-2435. We picked this machine up at a garage sale in "as-is" condition. You can try to...
Fucking Condoms!-You So Ugly That Ur Birth Certificate Was An Apoligy Letter From The Condom Factory...
Potatoes!-One night there was three fugitives escaping from jail. One was blonde, one was brunette and the other was a...
Real advertisements 01-Supposedly, these are actual advertisements that have appeared in papers across the country.
Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one...
COKE MACHINE-The Coke Machine
A blonde walks up to a Coke machine in a Las Vegas casino, puts in a
...
F.O.R.D acronyms-F O R D
Found On Rubbish Dumps
Fix Or Repair Daily
Fails On Rainy Days
Fails On Race Day...
Answering machine message 200-(Classical music:) This is our answering machine. (Switch to heavy metal racket:) This is our answering machine on drugs. (Silence...)...
An investment counselor decided to go out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in, and pretty soon she realized that she needed an in-house counsel. The investment banker began to interview young lawyers.
“As I’m sure you can understand,” she started off with one of the first applicants, “in a business like this, our personal integrity must be beyond question.” She leaned forward. “Mr. Mayberry, are you an honest lawyer?”
“Honest?” replied the job prospect. “Let me tell you something about honest. Why, I’m so honest that my father lent me $15,000 for my education, and I paid back every penny the minute I tried my very first case.”
“Impressive. And what sort of case was that?” asked the investment counselor.
The lawyer squirmed in his seat and admitted, “He sued me for the money.”
Honest Lawyer-An investment counselor went out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in, and pretty...
After just a few years of marriage, filled with constant arguments…-... a young man and his wife decided the only way to save their marriage was to try counseling. They...
Twice a week!- After just a few years of marriage, filled with constant arguments, a young man and his wife decided the...
Much Improved- A husband was worried about the decline in the quality of his marriage so he discreetly went to a...
Waking up-A marriage counselor was attempting to find out something about his patient's attitude by asking her some questions.
"Did you wake...
Be Bolder- A young husband with an inferiority complex insisted he was just a little pebble on the beach.
The marriage counselor...
Business one-liners 112-Galbraith's Law of Human Nature: Faced with the choice between changing one's mind and proving that there is no need...
INVESTMENT ALERT!- Pfizer Corp (NYSE PFE) is making the announcement today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form and...
A way to save your marriage-A young husband with an inferiority complex insisted he was just a little pebble on a vast beach.
The marriage counselor,...
A way to save your marriage-A young husband with an inferiority complex insisted he was just a little pebble on a vast beach.The marriage counselor,...
Did you hear about the banker who was recently arrested for embezzling $100,000 to pay for his daughter’s college education?
As the policeman, who also had a daughter in college, was leading him away in handcuffs, he said to the banker, “I have just one question for you. Where were you going to get the rest of the money?”
Wrong instructions- A mother was anxiously awaiting her daughter`s plane. She had just come back from a far away land trying...
College-Q: Where did Michael Jackson go to college?
A: Bring-em-young...
A mother and a daughter are shopping in the mall…-... when the mother eyes an expensive fur coat. "This year," she says, "I think that I will buy my...
God Helps Me Pee-An old man and his daughter go to the doctor for his monthly checkup. During examination, the doctor asks how...
Baby- Yesterday my daughter and I drove to the babysitters house to pick up my two-year old son. We were...
My daughter is your reward-Once there was a millionaire, who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in back of his mansion....
Buying a Barbie Doll- A woman and her daughter go to the store to get the daughter a Barbie. At the store, the...
FatherBlonde Daughter-What did the father say to his blonde daughter?
''If you're not in bed by 11, come home.''...
Kids In College- One can pity the father with three kids in college.
He tells his wife that they are getting poorer by...
You Know You’re Too Hi-Tech If …--- You haven't played solitaire with a real deck of cards in years.
-- You have a list of 15 phone...
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