Three prisoners were being held hostage at a terror camp. One was an American, another was an Englishman, and the third a Canadian. As the three men were lined up on the firing range to be executed, the American shouted, “Tornado!” The guards then turned their backs to see what was behind them and the American climbed the fence and escaped. Then, the Englishman screamed, “Flood!” and pointed towards the building behind the guards. The guards turned their backs again, allowing the Englishman to escape. The Canadian, now on the brink of death, pointed behind the guards and yelled, “FIRE!!!”
Watching for suicide-Why do they put a suicide watch on death row prisoners? Why would you care if a man you're planning...
Cell phones.-Q. What do prisoners use to call each other?A. Cell phones. ...
Get away with murder-Two prisoners are talking about their crimes:
George: "I robbed a bank, and they gave me 20 years"
Herman: "Hmm. I killed...
THREE PRISONERS-Three POWs, an American, a German, and a Pole, are scheduled to be executed by firing squad. They bring out...
Prison vs. full-time job-Prison life versus a full-time job
In prison you spend the majority of your time in an 8' X 10' cell.
At...
Tuns of Puns!- How do you get holy water?
Boil the hell out of it.
What did the fish say when he hit a...
In Arcola, Saskatchewan a 5 year old and a 3 year old were upstairs playing in their room. The 5 year old says “you know what, today I’m going to start swearing.” Then Mom calls them down and asks them what they want for dinner. The 5 year old says “I’ll have some of that shitty Kraft dinner.” The Mom immediately yells and smacks the 5 year old across the face and washes his mouth out with soap. Then she asks the 3 year old what he wants for dinner. The 3 year old, scared, says “Whatever you want to make Mom, but I sure as fuck don’t want Kraft dinner.”
Two Fraternity Brothers-Two fraternity brothers decide to go sailing one afternoon and become lost. After twenty hours with nothing to eat or...
Evil Brothers-There were two evil brothers. They were rich, and used their money to keep their ways from the public eye....
HavingBeerYour Brothers-A man walks into a bar and orders three beers. He takes a drink out of one... sets it down....
Getting the Recipe- Here is a story about a famous food critic's recent visit to Europe last summer. He had a delightful...
brother-ur brothers so fat that when he farted mars came out and i aint talkin bout the chocolate bar!!!...
Logic of the Irish-An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the...
3 guys walkin on a beach-ok...there were 3 guys walking on a beach, a niger, a spic, and a white
guy. While they were walkin...
the football river joke-name each footballer in the premier league which one could uise to get across a bridge
1. kanu
2. wayne...
the football river joke-name each footballer in the premier league which one could uise to get across a bridge
1. kanu
2. wayne...
Laz’s Lie-Two brothers were arguing when a Laz(Turkish-Irish) father entered the room. He says, "Why are you arguing?"
One boy answers,...
The automobile companies put black boxes in cars (like they have in planes) to record people’s last words as they crashed into things and died. In the U.S., the last words were mostly, “Oh no!” …Kind of what you would expect.
But in Canada, it was a different story. Most of them said right before they died, “Take my beer. Watch this!”
Silly Canadians-So there were three canadians sitting in a bar. One canadian was fat, one canadian was irish, and the third...
How can you tell which one is which?-An American, a Canadian and a French Canadian go into a bar.
How can you tell which one is from...
bears-An american bear and a Canadian bear meet every year at the border. The american bear is always big and...
T-shirt company helps Americans relax on-An American T-shirt company has a solution for fellow
citizens who want to vacation in Europe without having to answer...
Ship sinks & viola - a Genie appears-Two Canadian ships were sailing across the Atlantic, one Canadian ship was carrying red paint, the other Canadian ship was...
Worth Clapping For™-Theres 100 people on a plane. 99 are American and 1 is Canadian.
All of a sudden there is an...
Canadian Elephant-Every nation in attendance at an international symposium on elephants had to deliver a report on the animals.
France's report:...
A fly in my beer!-
One day an Englishman, an American, and a Canadian walked into a pub together. The proceeded to each buy a...
Canadian at School-A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is an American. She asks her students to raise their...
Spit it out-One day an Englishman, an American, and a Canadian walked into a pub together. The proceeded to each buy a...
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