A state trooper spied a car puttering along at 22 MPH. So he turned on his lights and pulled the driver over. Approaching the car, he noticed that five old guys were inside, and they looked wide-eyed and terribly pale.
The driver pleaded with him, “Officer, I don’t understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?”
“Sir,” the officer replies, “You weren’t speeding, but driving slower than the speed limit can also be dangerous.”
“I beg to differ, Officer, I was doing the speed limit exactly: twenty-two miles an hour!” the old man said.
The trooper, chuckling, explained to him that “22″ was the route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the man grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out his error.
“But before I let you go, Sir, I have to ask… Is everyone in this car ok? These guys seem awfully shaken.”
“Oh, they’ll be all right in a minute,” the old man said. “We just got off Route 119.”
Why me!?!- A man was speeding down the highway, feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all traveling at the same...
Charged for speeding-A man was speeding down a Alabama highway, feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all traveling at the same...
The Loud Wife-A man is speeding down the freeway when he's stopped by a police car and has to pull over. "Do...
Extreme Golfing- Three men are golfing. There is Jesus, Moses and an old man.
They've been pretty evenly matched until they arrive...
Nice Try-A San Francisco motorist was unknowingly caught in an automatic camera speed trap. He received a $40 ticket in the...
Identify the problem-A policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but was not getting many.
Then, he discovered the problem; a...
Ponderings collection 33-Whatever happened to preparations A through G?
If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
So...
Obey the speed limit-Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer see's a car puttering...
The Old Golfer-Moses, Jesus and an old man are golfing. Moses steps up to the tee and hits the ball. It goes...
The Biker’s decision.- You'd never believe it, but I bumped into a famous stuntman in a motorcycle shop the other day.
He was...
A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde were robbing a supermarket when a police officer walked in the store.The three women decide to hide in three potato sacks.The cop kicks the first bag, and the brunette says, “meow”, the cop says, “oh, its only a cat”He kicks the second bag, and the redhead says, “woof, woof”. The cop says, “its only a dog”.He kicks the third bag, and the blonde says, “potato”
dumb supermarket-you so stupid you got locked in a supermarket and starved to death...
Cri-sco!- There was this old guy wandering around in a supermarket calling out at intervals -
"Crisco? Crisco? CRIS--CO!!!!"
Finally a store...
Rob the supermarket-A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde were robbing a supermarket when a police officer walked in the store.
The three...
Rob the supermarket-A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde were robbing a supermarket when a police officer walked in the store.
The three...
A few jokes form this side of the atlant-Your "mom" is so stupid she died of starvation in a supermarket
Your "mom" is so fat they once thought...
Long list of annoyances!- *** Things that can and do bother the "normal" person. ***
Having to try on a pair of sunglasses with...
Baggers and Juicers- A boy was bagging groceries at a supermarket. One day the store installed a machine for squeezing fresh orange...
The Grocery Store.- A young boy had a job bagging groceries at a supermarket. One day the store decided to install a...
The beloved old man.- There once was an old man who was loved by everyone in the town where he lived. When he...
“You’re single aren’t you?”-A woman walks into a supermarket and buys:
1 bar of soap
1 toothbrush
1 tube of toothpaste
1 loaf of bread
1 pint of...
A police officer pulls over this guy who had been weaving in and out of the lanes.He goes up to the guy’s window and says, “Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube.”The man says, “Sorry officer I can’t do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that I’ll have a really bad asthma attack.”"Okay, fine. I need you to come down to the station to give a blood sample.” “I can’t do that either. I am a hemophiliac. If I do that, I’ll bleed to death.”"Well, then we need a urine sample.”"I’m sorry officer I can’t do that either. I am also a diabetic. If I do that I’ll get really low blood sugar.”"Alright then I need you to come out here and walk this white line.”"I can’t do that, officer.”"Why not?”"Because I’m too drunk to do that!”
Drunk- A guy is swerving down the road and gets pulled over. The cop says, "You have to take a...
Designated drunk-A COP WAS WATCHING THIS PARTICULAR BAR KNOWN FOR TROUBLE HOPING TO CATCH A DRUNK DRIVER. HE WAITS A LONG...
Drunk Test-A police officer pulls over this guy who's been weaving in and out of the lanes.
He goes up to...
A test for being drunk-A police officer pulls over this guy who had been weaving in and out of the lanes.
He goes up to...
DUI-A drunk is driving through the city and his car is weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulls...
I get so drunk that I imagine things-The drunk was floundering down the alley carrying a box with holes on the side. He bumped into a friend...
Arriving home very drunk-A man is in a bar and falling off his stool every couple of minutes. He is obviously drunk. So...
Arriving Home Very Drunk-A man is in a bar and falling off his stool every couple of minutes. He is obviously drunk. So...
I’m just trying to be helpful-A good samaritan was walking home late one night when he came upon this drunk on the sidewalk. Wanting to...
Just Trying to Be Helpful-A good samaritan was walking home late one night when he came upon this drunk on the sidewalk. Wanting to...
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