The Rescuers
A minister decides to travel around America. He’s at a beach in New England and looking out at the water. Suddenly, he sees a man wearing a Yankees cap being attacked by a shark. The minister starts to panic, but then he sees two men in a boat, both wearing Red Sox caps, pull the man and the shark into the boat. When they come to the shore, the minister goes up to the Red Sox fans and tells them how good and brave they are, and how they would be rewarded in heaven. He says how he’s heard the the Red Sox/Yankees rivalry and was proud of them for putting baseball behind them. The minister turns around and walks away, leaving the beach. One Red Sox fan turns to the other and says, “So–how’s the bait doing?”
Chinese man in the u.s.
once a chinese man travelled to the U.S. he didn’t know any English, so he began travelling around to learn some.
First, he came to an opera house. he went insideand heard a woman singing “memememe!”.
then he came to a restaurant. there, he saw a waitor setting out utensils, saying “Forks and knives” , “Forks and knives”.
Finally, he came to a candy store, there a young child was crying for candy, saying, “Goody Goody Gumdrops”, “Goody Goody Gumdrops”,
The man went out into the street a crowd had gathered. When he went to see what had happened, he saw a woman lying dead in the street. “Who did this?” a policeman demanded.
“Me me me me me!” the Chinese man said.
“How did you do this?” the policeman asked him.
“Forks and knives, forks and knives,” the Chinese man replied.
“You’re going to jail,” the cop said.
“Goody goody gumdrops, goody goody gumdrops!”
God is a red sox fan
Roger Clemens, after living a full life, died.
When he got to heaven, God was showing him around. They came to a modest
little house with a faded Yankee flag in the window. “This house is yours
for eternity,” God said. “This is very special, not everyone gets a house up
here.”
Roger felt special, indeed, and walked into his house. On his way up to the
porch he noticed another house just around the corner. It was a three-story
mansion with a bright red and blue sidewalk, a 50 foot flagpole with a Red
Sox flag flying on it, and a Red Sox logo in every window. In the front yard
was a sign reading ‘Welcome To Beantown.’
Clemen looked at God and said, “I don’t mean to be ungrateful, but I have a
question. I won three World Series rings, more awards than I can remember,
and I won more than 300 games.” God answered, “So what do you want to know, Roger?”
“Well, why does Pedro Martinez get a better house than me?” God chuckled and said, “Roger, that’s not Pedro’s house… its mine.”