In 1986, Mkele Mbembe was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from college. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air.
The elephant seemed distressed so Mbembe approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant’s foot, and found a large thorn deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Mbembe worked the thorn out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man and with a rather stern look on its face, stared at him.
For several tense moments Mbembe stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned and walked away. Mbembe never forgot that elephant or the amazing events of that day.
Twenty years later he was walking through a zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Mbembe and his son Tapu were standing.
The large bull elephant stared at Mbembe and lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man. Remembering the encounter in 1986, Mbembe couldn’t help but wonder if this was the same elephant.
Mbembe summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. Suddenly the elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of the man’s legs and swung him wildly back and forth along the railing, killing him.
Probably wasn’t the same elephant.
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“What’s wrong with me, doc?” asks the patient. “My balls have turned blue!”
The doctor examines him and says his testicles have to be removed, or else he’ll die.
“I can’t let you do that!” the patient cries.
“Do you want to die?” the doctor asks. So the patient glumly consents to have his balls removed.
Two weeks later the patient returns. “Doc, now my penis has turned blue!”
The doctor examines him and reaches the same conclusion: his penis must go.
The man begins to cry. “How will I pee?”
“Simple. We’ll install a plastic pipe and that will do the trick,” says the doctor. “You don’t want to die, do you?”
Again, the man sadly consents to the procedure.
Two weeks later, the man returns again. “Doc! The pipe turned blue! What the hell is happening to me?”
“Well, I’m not really sure,” admits the doctor. “Wait… do you wear jeans?”
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Person 2: I don't know.
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Boy Blue-"KNOCK KNOCK"
"Who's there?"
"Little Boy Blue"
"Little Boy Blue Who?"
"MICHAEL JACKSON"...
ZZZZZZZZ-KNOCK KNCOK
WHOS THERE
BABY BLUE
BABY BLUE WHO
MICHEAL JACKSON...
The Boy-
Knock....
Knock......
Whos There???
"Littlle Boy Blue"....
"Little Boy Blue" Who???
MICKLE JACKSON!!!
...
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with apologies to Jimmy Buffett)
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A Southern small-town prosecutor called his first witness, a respectful, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know me?”
She responded, “Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.”
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?”
She again replied, “Why, yes, I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He’s lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can’t build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.”
The defense attorney almost died. Quickly jumping in, the judge asked both counselors to approach the bench, and in a very quiet voice said, “If either of you bastards asks her if she knows me, I’ll throw your asses in jail for contempt.”
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`Well, your Honour,'...
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