This bloke wakes up one morning to find a gorilla in atree in his garden.He looks in the phone book for a gorilla removal service until he finds one.
”Is it a boy gorilla or a girl gorilla?” the service bloke asks.
”Boy gorilla”, replies the man.
”Righto”, says the service bloke. ”I’ll be round in a jiffy.” An hour later the service bloke shows up with a stick, a Pit Bull Terrier, a shotgun and a pair of handcuffs.
”Right” he says to the man.” I’m going to climb the tree and poke the gorilla with the stick until he falls.When he does, this highly trained Pit Bull will tear the gorilla’s balls off. When the gorilla crosses his hands over his crotch to protect himself, you slip the handcuffs on,”
”OK,” says the man, ”but what’s the shotgun for?”
”I’m glad you asked that,” says the service bloke. ” If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla does, then blow the dog’s brains out
Standing in Line-This long line of people are queueing up to get served in a shop. Suddenly one bloke starts massaging the...
2 or 4 lane-a bloke walks along the strand and finds a bottle lying on the ground. he kicks it and POOF...a geannie...
a bloke walks into a bar…….-a man walks into a bar with a giraffe sits down and orders two shots of whiskey they both neck...
The two skiers-Paddy and Murphy on top of a ski slope.
Paddy says to Murphy "Do you go down here zig zag...
Magic Bitter-A woman walks into a pub and sees a really good looking bloke sitting at the bar. She goes over...
The Duck-A man walks into a bar with a metal box under one arm and a duck under the other. The...
Paddys job interview-One day paddy goes for a job in the IRA,so he goes into the office and says to the bloke...
my budgie-a bloke buys abudgie and after having it for about a week he feals the budgie is fealling alone so...
rino-i was walking across a field with my mate when we came across a horse having sex with a rino...
Stick up arse-What do you call a Welsh bloke with a stick up his arse? A Taffy apple....