How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
From a catalog.
How you get down from an elephant?
You don’t, you get down from ducks.
What city has the largest rodent population?
Hamsterdam.
What did God say when Joan of Arc showed up at the Pearly Gates?
“Well done.”
What did one cloned sheep say to the other?
“I am ewe.”
What did one magnet say to the other magnet?
“I find you very attractive.”
What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing, they just waved.
What did one potato chip say to the other?
Shall we go for a dip?
What did the painter say to the wall?
“One more crack and I’ll plaster you!”
What do cats like on a hot day?
A mice cream cone.
What do cats like on their hot dogs?
Mouse-tard.
What do cats like to eat for breakfast?
Mice Krispies.
Tuns of Puns! Part III- What do frogs eat with their hamburgers?
French flies.
What do polo players get from spending all afternoon in the...
Tuns of Puns! Part I- Did you hear about the butcher who accidentally backed into the meat grinder?
He got a little behind in...
Puns Contest- There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the...
Tuns of Puns! Part IV- What do you get when you have a cow and a duck?
Milk and quackers.
What does an envelope say...
Tuns of Puns! Part V- What's the difference between boogers and broccoli?
Kids won't eat broccoli.
What's the difference between ignorance and apathy?
I don't...
REALLY DUMB Joke- There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.
He sent in ten different puns, in the hope...
Tuns of Puns!- How do you get holy water?
Boil the hell out of it.
What did the fish say when he hit a...
Tuns of PunsGalore - Part I- Our library has so many books they had to put it in a multi-story building.
I knew a prisoner who...
Tuns of PunsGalore - Part III- We painted our floor with luminous paint. So now the florescent what it used to be.
My sister opened a...
Tuns of PunsGalore - Part II- I was having coffee at the golf course when I saw a large amount of black sediment in the...